Joe Cool I am Not




Ok here is the deal, since I injured my ankle several years ago I have not been able to run/jog as I once did. I am sick of fighting the battle of the bulge around my waist so I thought I would purchase a bicycle and get more exercise. Great Idea actually; I did my research on  today’s modern bicycle as I have not owned a bike since I was in my very early 20’s, in other words a long damn time ago!.

I found the bike I wanted, the seating position is what I desired, not to overly expensive, looks cool, well you get the idea. I give the bike a test ride around the bike shop area, it all seems to be fine, despite the fact I have not ridden a bicycle in well over 20 years, it is as they say once you learn to ride a bike you never forget. I soon have the shifting of gears down pretty well and make the choice to purchase this slick looking 2 wheeled terror  beauty.

The morning air of my first ride was cool, I was eager to start my day the instant my alarm went off. A glass  of juice, a bit of stretching and down the stairs the bike and I went.  I admit I was excited and had been looking forward to my first ride and to loosing these UN wanted pounds. Oh it all started out nice enough, then the first hill came into view, I gave the shifter a click and I was ready for the first challenge or so I thought anyway. You see it is one thing to recall how to ride a bike, it is another entirely to be in condition to do so, by the time I crested this small hill my thighs were screaming. Once I crested the hill and began moving along flat pavement again my thighs forgave me and I rode the distance I had set for myself. I know better than to over do it and I had chosen to ride about 3 miles out.

As I turned around to come home on the bike trail, I was feeling pretty good about myself and this choice of exercise , that is until I was on the way back home. There I rode happy as a clam, then I got smoked by 3 young punks riders yelling move over old man you’re in the way. Now I am in my very late 40’s, as a matter of fact I have a birth day fast approaching but I am not some ole geezer that is going to get dusted by these young pimple faced dorks  polite gentleman, so I pick up speed and keep pace with them. That’s right I’d show em who is old, so for the next mile or so all 4 of us raced it out as fast as we could go. I could hear them huffing and puffing, cardio I got in spades it seems, even if I do not have the trained muscles of a cyclist anymore.

As we rounded the last bend to where I would have to turn off to return home, I waved at them and they at me. Not a bad way to start my day, I felt invigorated and a bit proud of myself for not letting them just smoke past me without so much as an effort to defend my pride.

They say pride goeth before the fall and they are truly correct, Hey pedaling a bike is not all that hard, but stopping and getting off when your legs feel like rubber, that is another thing entirely. I stopped the bike in the grass by my apartment feeling really cool as I did it. That is the last I saw of my coolness, I stepped off the bike and my legs forgot how to keep me standing up. I went down like Joe Frazier after being hit by Mohamed Ali. I literally could not stand up. I lay there on the dew laden grass, my legs burning and my temples pounding and all I could do is laugh. Yeah I was cool alright, for all of about 5 minutes, weather permitting I will ride again before work Thursday morning but I am sure I will not be racing anyone anytime soon if ever!

I suspect I will let those young men just smoke on by me, the whole idea of this cycling thing was to get healthier not to crash my brand new bike and break something on it or myself. If you see my cooleness as you go about your day, would you please remind it to come home. I kinda miss it!




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