I had lunch with a buddy of mine today and of course the subject turned to women, hey you girls do it to so do not judge. My pal Dave was telling me about his first date with a woman this past weekend and how bad it was. I told him he was not alone I have had my share as well.
We all have had those dates that makes us want to pull our hair out for one reason or another, my pal began to relate the evening to me and I had to admit, he is right his evening sucked. Being the good friend I am and wanting him to know he was not alone and his date was not even close to being the worst in the world I related the following date to him.
Several years ago I was introduced to woman by mutual friends, she was pretty,intelligent, funny. There seemed no reason not reason not to go out with her, she was also a bit flinty in a good way with me so I felt I was getting the signal she was interested. Ok I took the chance asked her for her number and yes I did call as I promised. We made a date for the following Friday night, just a nice dinner to become better acquainted and perhaps an activity afterwards.
We agreed to meet since her work schedule that day meant it was easier for her to just meet me at the restaurant after work and we could go from there. We met on time and were promptly seated and resumed the banter we shared a few days earlier, the waiter then arrived and they both looked at each other with surprise, they were college friends and had not seen one another in years.
That’s fine chat with an old friend a bit, but I did sense that he was into her a bit more than she was him but who knows what goes through anyone’s mind. After speaking with my date for over 10 minutes he finally realized he was at work, I suppose his work attire reminded him or perhaps it was the food that kept being brought out of the kitchen, who knows. He finally took our order and then he came back with those really awesome rolls this place is famous for. I thanked him of course and attempted to speak to my date , well Mr. oblivious to the world around him waiter guy kept jacking the conversation. I suppose he was feeling a bit tired from all of his work this jackwagon actually sat down and kept talking to my date.
I am as nice as the next person but this was over the top rude in my opinion and my date for the evening was not helping matters very much. To be fair she did actually mention 2 times we were on a first date but they just kept talking, and he was talking about nonsense stuff about their college days, who dated who, who married whom, oh yeah I even got to find out about his dropping out of college and needing to find some direction in his life, dude I do not care is all I could think.
Oh he finally remembers that the food is likely ready and he is off in a flash to serve it, she apologizes while he is gone and I try to play it off but this date has really gone down hill and I see no bottom lol.
Mr. oblivious waiter guy returns with the food and you guessed it he sits back down, now I have had enough but I am not going to make an ass out of myself, but I could tolerate only so much; then he just crossed the line, he asked her if her food was the way she liked it and then asked for a bite and I will be damn if she did not offer him some off her fork.
Oh now I am just beside myself enough is enough, I have pride and dignity and do not wish to give up either, I casually ask this idiot if he had ever tried the dish I had ordered and he gave me a sideways look and said yes, I suppose I was rude to interrupt his train of thought or something, anyway I just decided enough was enough and slide my plate untouched to him and said here you can have mine.
With that I got up from my seat, told my now former date thank you for the evening dropped a 50 dollar bill on the table and walked away, yeah I know I was a dumb ass for paying anyway.
As I walked away trying to understand how in the world a date could actually be jacked from me like a car on the bad side of town, the manager asked me if I had enjoyed the meal.
Oh this was just to good to pass up and I responded with, I really do not know I did not get to eat it as your waiter has jacked my date and is at this very moment sitting at the table with her eating my meal. I told him not to worry about the bill as I had left a 50 and saw no reason to ever return.
The manager went red in the face instantly and asked that I wait, he peeked around the corner, I suppose to verify my story and soon came back to me with his head down as low as that of wiener dog looking for his chew bone.
He then reached into his pocket and took out a 100 dollar bill and offered it to me, I declined, he insisted and then finally placed it into my shirt pocket. I sort of laughed and said that 100 was not going to get me to even remotely consider returning, he said he understood and said he just felt is was wrong for me to pay and that I had conducted myself in an honorable fashion for doing so but he could not allow it.
I thanked him, shook his hand and I left. I was sitting in my car outside calling a buddy to vent, when I see the two of them come outside, Mr. oblivious now former waiter guy was mad as hell and yelling at his now date, I could not hear much but he was complaining that he needed the job and since his shift was not scheduled to be over for sometime he had no ride home.
Oh this was getting good, I admit I was getting some perverse pleasure out of his misery, he didn’t have to worry she actually offered to take this jackwagon home.
Yes as I pulled out of the parking lot I did a slow drive by and had the biggest smile on my face. He may have date jacked me, but at least I have a college degree, my own car and I am employed and not to mention I made 50 bucks!